Tales of a Thankful Mom

 “The Lord make His face shine upon you [with favor], And be gracious to you [surrounding you with lovingkindness];” ‭‭Numbers‬ ‭6‬:‭25‬ ‭AMP‬‬           My youngest when she was little used to try to pull me away from her older siblings, telling them, “My Mommy!” To which one of them would respond in an annoyed tone, “She’s our Mom too!” I would often tell my children that each one of them is my favorite. Even though, I do not always perfectly show this truth. The Father’s love for each of us amazes me. We are His favorites! Not because of anything we have done, but because of Jesus’ sacrifice for us. God cares about us so much that He knows the number of hairs on our heads. I have read that it is important for our children to be able to rest in our love for them. This truth reminds me that God is our strong tower. We can run to Him and be safe. What is your favorite verse when you need to be reminded that You are God’s favorite? Please share in the comments below,

           I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.) The reason for the PTSD is many years of physical and emotional abuse before friends and family were able to rescue my children and I from that horrible situation. Because of my past, I see threats when they are not really there. My counselor has encouraged me to tell myself that I am safe, when I am struggling with anxiety. Life is not an emergency. I do not need to be afraid of making simple mistakes. Mistakes are a part of learning and growth. I want to have a growth mindset. I do not want to be stuck in the past. There will no longer be dire consequences for a simple mistake. I do not have to agonize over whether I am making the right decision. I can let go of decision fatigue. Renewing my mind daily, by reading scriptures and focusing on truth are ways to surrender perfectionist tendencies and to immerse myself in God's grace.  

          Each day I have a choice. I can focus on my problems, or I can focus of the God that makes all things possible. If I focus on my problems, I will be grumpy and anxious, and this negative focus will impact my whole day, If I focus on God, even hard things are a little easier because I trust that He is withe me. Part of focusing on God is remembering all that I have to be thankful for. It si being curious about things going on around me, instead of assuming the worst. It is leaning in and continuing the conversation calmly, when someone bumps into my happy. It is remembering that God can use interruptions to draw me and others closer to him, and to handle interruptions with grace. It is remembering that the big eyes of the child, standing over the mess on the floor is more important than the inconvenience of cleaning up the mess on the floor, On days that seem to have more than their share of problems may I breathe in grace and breathe out praise. 

        I am a keeper of memories. My storage on my phone is always full, because I don’t want to delete pictures. Those pictures represent memories. I have boxes filled with paper memories. My youngest daughter is much like me. My Dad would call us pack rats. My son isn’t like me. He jokingly said he was giving away his childhood the last time we moved. He chose to donate most of his toys, at eleven years of age. He doesn’t really play with toys anymore. My youngest daughter also struggles with saving her allowance. The money “burns a hole in her pocket.”, as the saying goes. My son saved up his allowance and bought himself a chrome book. How does grace come into play in the description of my children and their personalities. I tell them and their older sibling all the time, we respect each other’s preferences and differences. Individual differences keep life interesting. If we were all the same life would be boring. So are you a saver? I would love to hear your thoughts in the commen

 Acts 4:32 Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common             When I saw that today's word was common, I thought of a reading lesson that I gave yesterday as a substitute teacher. "What was it that the two characters had in common, and how are they different?" Even children, I notice tend to focus on their differences and not their commonalities. I can understand this, differences make people special and unique. I wonder what the world would be like if people focused more on what they had in common. We are all human. I tell my kids to remember that everyone has feelings, and that if they wouldn't want the statement to be made about them, than they probably shouldn't be saying it. What would it look to focus on what we have in common with someone who does not look, think or act like us? What would it be like to be curious about o

           God had a rescue plan ready for me before I even realized that I was in danger. When my eldest was a baby, my (then) husband and I decided to start attending church. I called churches in the area, and talked to a friendly secretary who told me about the church's cry room, when I told her that I had an infant. We visited this church the following Sunday, and the church secretary welcomed me, and introduced me to other young Mom's. We had found our church home. In the next three years, we added two more children to our family, but as time moved on I began keeping a secret. There were days that my husband refused to allow me to attend church, because social outings were something he thought I needed to earn. There were other days that he did not allow church because he knew that my friends might see the bruises from his physical abuse. His goal was to completely isolate me. But God gave me friends who did not give up on me, even when I gave up on myself. My friends even

         This song brings me back to my college days. When I googled the song, it even showed a picture of a Wow Worship CD that I know I had owned in my days of community college. When I saw that today's word was adore, I wondered how to write about adoration from the viewpoint of grace. Adoration flows from a grateful heart that realizes how holy and awesome God is, and how much I need Him. I am thankful that my Pastor taught on this recently. The more that we adore God, the more we will want to adore Him. The more we invite Him into the quiet and even not so quiet moments of our days. The easier it is to remember that He is Immanuel, God with us. We can totally immerse ourselves in knowing Him and yet there will always be more room to grow in our trust, love and understanding of Him, this side of Heaven. I am also sharing the song "I want to go back." My personal story is that I began my walk with the Lord as a child. Life seemed simpler back then, and it is a good rem

            I am not a big fan of change. Not surprisingly, my children are also not usually excited about changes. This means that as my family has experienced many changes especially in the last year, that I have had to find the positive aspects of these changes and point out these silver linings to the children. This can be challenging when it was hard for me to see the good in the situation. I have tried to point out that each new experience is an opportunity for adventure. As my Dad likes to say, "Each new opportunity is a chance to excel." Change is a part of life, and I do not want my children to dread seasons of change. I want to point them to the One who is never surprised by change. I want them to know that God is with us no matter what the next season of life may bring.  We can trust Him when the path ahead looks unclear. We need to be brave and take the next step forward. I also want to show my kids and myself grace during times of change. New routines take time t

 “Mom, what would you do with the money, if you won the lottery?” ,my son asked with a pensive expression on his face. “I don’t play the lottery. So there is no way we could win the lottery.”, was my answer. I do feel like a very blessed Mama of my three amazing kids. My kids have been the impetus to make tough decisions. God has caused me to grow spiritually and emotionally because of my children. I pursue healing from my traumatic past because my children need a healed Mama. My son teaches me new math and science facts all the time. He even sometimes stumps his teachers. My daughters teach me about art, and I have learned many things about animals due to my youngest’s curiosity. What relationships cause you to feel rich relationally? I would love to read about them in the comments below.

                    I am thankful that my youngest daughter invited me on a mission last night. She wanted to take pictures of these tiny flowers, but the trout being outside after dark was giving her the willies. So, she invited me along. This child has always been my noticer. She stops and smells the roses literally. She loves animals and flowers. She notices the the small details that others might overlook. I am so thankful that she shares her observations with me. I am also thankful that I have listened to her and her siblings, and and trying to live life less rushed, less distracted with loads more love, laughter and grace. She reminds me to turn up the music and dance. Is there someone in your life who reminds you to be present for all of the little moments? Please feel free to tell me about them in the comments.    

           I love taking time to look back and reflect on what God has been teaching me lately. I have realized that if I do not give myself time to reflect than I will realize that I have not paused for a while, and that the previous month has felt like a blur. This is one of the things that I love about blogging. It is my time to look back over my life and see God's faithfulness, and trust that God will continue to guide me in my present and my future. Gratitude is an important part of this time of reflection. There is always something to be thankful for, as I like to remind my kids. Sometimes, we may need to look a little harder. I am thankful that oldest and youngest love seeing beauty in nature. My eldest is a lover of sunsets, rainbows, and rainy afternoons. My youngest loves animals even some animals that her siblings and I are amazed that she finds cute. May I reflect God's love and grace to my children each day as we journey through life together.

           This single Mom life can be a lonely one sometimes.  As my children are getting older and I have realized the need to be more mindful about what I am sharing about them, even with family. After all, they have the right to privacy and many times they should be the ones who chose the stories that are being told about them. I have also realized that just because I understand my child's perspective does not mean the person that I am telling the story to will, and I do not want to embarass my children or break their trust. So, sometimes when I am asked about my children, I will rattle off their current ages and talk about how much growing that they are doing. I might even comment that my eldest and youngest are really interested in art and that my middle child loves math and science. I will make sure that my children will approve of anything I say. I am thankful that I am not alone on this mothering journey. God is here with me showing me grace on the messy days. I can trust

          My parenting style has changed a great deal in the past year. My people pleasing tendencies bled over into my parenting. I took to heart too much of what other, most well meaning people thought of my parenting, but didn’t always listen to my children’s feelings, thoughts or perspectives on things. I am trying to live differently now. I want to be more connected with my kids and less distracted by others opinions.           I want to soak in all the beauty of our ordinary lives. I want to put away all distractions and look my children in the eyes when they want to show me something or tell me about their day.             I want to say yes to baking cookies. I want to say yes to making their favorite food for dinner. I want to say yes to every invitation to talk with them.           I was blessed to see the beautiful sights in these pictures in person with my youngest. I am so thankful that her teacher gave me the opportunity to chaperone for this class field trip. It was a bea

           If there is one thing that 2022 taught me is that I have a choice on what I gather and treasure. If I gather joy, gratitude and grace, than those virtues will bloom and blossom in my life. If I gather complaints, comparison, anger, and discontentment these feelings can leave me in a dark and lonely place.  James 4:14 states " And yet ye cannot tell what shall be tomorrow. For what is your  life ? It is even a  vapor  that appeareth for a little time, and afterward vanisheth away."  I want to remember how precious a commodity is time. I want to live my life well. I want to cook and bake more with my youngest. I want to learn more obscure math or science facts from my son. I want to watch my teen's favorite television shows and admire the beauty of their works of art that they create. These moments are rare and I want to embrace them with arms wide open ready to receive the miracles that occur in daily life. I want to remember that every day is an opportunity to

           I am not very good at dealing with the facts of the situations. I am a highly emotional person. I score very highly in the feelings category of the Meyers Brigg. Facts rarely are black and white for me. Facts can inspire huge feelings. My counselor has reminded me of one fact that I need to remind myself of, to talk myself off of proverbial emotional ledges. When I am in the middle of emotional upheaval, I need to remind myself that I am safe, no matter what my emotions are screaming at me. I can remind myself that I am safe. I can remind myself that whatever I am facing is (most likely) not an emergency. I can remind myself that I am loved by God. I can get off the train of anxious thoughts and fear and choose a new path of remembering all that I have for which to be thankful. I need to look at the situation through a lense of grace  What facts do you remind yourself of when you need encouragement?

  “I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.” —  W. C. Fields           As a people pleaser, I used to make many decisions based on what I thought the preferences were of the other people impacted by my decision. I cared about making others happy (or actually happy with me) than my preferences the majority of the time. Thankfully, through counseling and personal growth, I have learned that it is good to have boundaries and personal preferences. It is fun to know what I like and what I do not like. In fact, my kids probably appreciate that I know what would stress me out. So, that I can mentally prepare for stressful situations, instead of snapping at them in the moment becaus of my lack of self-awareness. I am also learning that for the most part, other people's opinion of me is their business, not mine. As the above quote states, I can decline participating in needless arguments and drama. I can show grace, and I can let go of stress and frustration, giving those emoti

           The below song will always bring to mind, a time that I felt seen and encouraged by God. I heard this beautiful song for the first time at church. An hour later, my best friend texted it to me. I told her that it was an "only God" kind of moment. My bestie reminded me that God was in control, and that He was holding me.  Listening and considering this song, I am reminded of the people in my life that I can pray this chorus over and share this song with them. I am so thankful that God is the God of possible. It is amazing to think that we can talk to the Creator of the Universe through prayer. Who can you pray for or encourage today? Do you need prayer? Please share your prayer requests, in the comments, and I will pray for you.  

           For five years, my marital status has either been seperated or divorced. For three years prior to that, my heart was breaking because I knew my marriage was broken and I was desperately trying to fix it. Emotionally, my heart does feel busted and bruised, even five years after the intiial seperation and divorce. At the end of 2022, I knew I needed to make some changes. I needed grace. So, I chose that as my #OneWord365 for 2023. As for King and Country sings in this song, I am desperate for grace. In my desperation for grace, I need to be open to receiving God's grace. I need to have open hands and a willing receptive heart. I need to offer God my heart and all of my convoluted emotions and pray that He pour his grace into every crevice and broken area and bind up all my emotional wounds.. As I receive healing from God, I can share his grace with others.  , 

           My kids enjoy skulking about the house trying to sneak into each other’s rooms and startle their unsuspecting sibling. After all the silence of skulking there is usually shrieking, laughter and running as the invading party is chased back to their room, I want my house to be full of grace, laughter and kids who enjoy sneaking up on unsuspecting family members. Fun houses can be noisy ones. I need to remember that when they are still full of energy at 8 pm, and all I want to do is sleep, or when I am grabbed in a bear hug from behind by my son, who makes me jump in the process. I have told my teen and tweens, "Really? I guess I am the only one who is tired right now." Do you have any funny stories of being snuck up on? Or do you like to sneak up on your family members? I would love to read more in the comments below. 

           I was keeping a dangerous secret. I was living a lie. On the outside, I was desperate to be a better wife and mother. I was desperate to be a better wife, hoping that if I could figure out how to please my husband the pain and the abuse would stop. I was desperate to be a better mother because I didn’t want the pain of our living situation to negatively impact my children. Acquaintances were shocked when I tell my story of domestic violence. My family seemed so normal. I tried my best to pretend everything was normal, I longed for normalcy. Now looking back, I am thankful for friends who were concerned about me. I am thankful for friends who continued to follow up with me and did not give up on me. I am thankful for my family who made sacrifices to rescue me and my children. one.

          I wish my extended family knew that this single Mom life was not one of ease. On the other hand, I wish my children did not see their mother’s faults, failures and messes. I sometimes feel like certain members of my extended family critique my decisions as a Mom, like my children and I are characters in a play. I also wish I had a better memory, and did not disappoint my children because I forgot to do something that I promised I would do. I am thankful that my children chose to show me grace daily. I am thankful for their hugs, and “I love you’s” on long days. I am thankful that our circumstances have taught them to be caring, empathetic individuals. Instead of seeking an easier road, may I remember the journey that I am on with my children can be a grace filled one.

           My beliefs about marriage, about who I am as a person and God's call on my life have changed substantially in the past five years. Five years ago, on the eve of my wedding anniversary, I was grieving. Actually, I was running from grief. I was listening to family who told me that I should be thankful that I made it out of a toxic and dangerous situation alive. I was told that many people did not have the help and support of family like I do. This was also true, but not necessarily helpful. I was told to take off my wedding ring, consider myself single, dust myself off, and start trying to talk up the changes with my children like starting over was a new adventure. I tried, but certain situations will always sting. My youngest hates that she gets flyers for father/daughter dances when her dad lives across the country. Seeing her sadness the weekend before Valentines Day every year makes me want to break down and cry right along with her. Instead, I tell each of the kids th

             Motherhood can be lonely. Especially when well meaning family members think that they know how to parent your children better than you do. They don’t understand your need to create an emotionally safe environment for your children. They do not know the extent of the trauma your children experienced at a young age. You know the reasons that you need to be gentle. You want your home to be a place of safety, warmth, acceptance and love. Some people may think you are too soft. You know from personal experience that the world can be a hard place. Your number one goal is to ensure that your children know that they are loved by God perfectly and you imperfectly. You will never give up on them.

          I do not know where I would be without the love and support of community. Community is a church secretary looking out for the mom who called and asked about the church's cry room, and then welcoming her and introducing her to other Moms of littles. It is a friend asking me why I didn't attend Bible study, and offering to give me a ride to Bible study and community group when she realized that transportation was the issue. Community is rallying around someone in their most messy, vulnerable state and getting them help that they need, even when they are too scared to seek help themselves. It is friends helping someone make a cross country move, when they wouldn't have the resources to do so alone. It is surprising someone with a gift card to buy necessary household essentials after an unepected move. I have been so blessed through community. Community has been a conduit of God's grace to me and my children. I want to share His love and grace with others in my co

            My son finds many science, math and historical topics fascinating. Even at the age of eleven, he knows more about those topics than me. Since he knows so much about these topics it has led to his teachers digging deeper into these topics trying to teach my son something that he never learned before. I am so thankful that he has teachers that do not want him to be bored. I have bought him a Bible atlas. I want him to be fascinated with God’s word like He is fascinated by academic topics. I want Jesus to be my magnificent obsession, and I want to pass on that sense of awe regarding God’s word to my children. They need to see me reading the Bible. They need to see me praying. They need to see me walking the walk, not just talking the talk. I will never do this perfectly, but I pray that God leads me, as I lead them. What is something that you find fascinating? I would love to read your thoughts in the comments.

       I shared a little of my Mom's story yesterday. When telling me of the symptoms that recently led to her spending a few days in the hospital, she said that she thought if she ignored the symptoms that they would go away. I chuckled at the absurdity of the thought, but I realized that I often do the same thing myself. I do not want my children to realize how difficult this single Mom life is at times. I don't want my extended family to know my struggles, trials, or my fears. I want everything to be fine. Some days are not fine. Sometimes, I really need help, even though I hate asking for it. It is a part of life to be needy and need as my Pastor likes to say. If I refuse to acknowledge my brokenness, I am missing an opportunity to acknowledge my need for a Savior. I need God's grace and ignoring the brokenness can leave me thirsty because I refuse to admit that I need God's living water. I am also cheating people out of the opportunity to encourage and bless my chi

            My Mom commented that 2023 has not started smoothly for her. Considering that she was in the hospital last week, and that she hasn’t gotten her strength fully back yet, I understand the reason that she feels that way. This week has felt kind of topsy turvy for me. As Alice Morse Earle states, I want to remember that even though “ Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” I want to continue to pause and remember to look up and look fully into the face of my Savior. This is not a short glance God’s way, but a reminder to fully focus on Him even in the midst of chaos. As our source of peace and comfort, I especially need to take time to focus on Him my firm foundation when everything seems to be in disarray and out of control. I want the things of earth (the anxiety, the complications, and the difficulties) to shrink in comparison to the light of God’s glory and grace.