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Five Minute Friday Settle

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I have felt unsettled in some shape or form for a long time. I did not feel at home in my home when I was married because the situation was toxic. I was always waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. Then, I would have to deal with the fallout and clean up the mess. And even though I have been a single mom for almost two years, I still deal with feelings of being unsettled. These feelings probably come from merging my household with my parents. Six people in one house can feel a little crowded at times. Also, a part of me still wishes that my story was different. I am learning though that I do have a choice on how settled I feel. I can chose to focus on my circumstances, or I can chose to focus on God. I can chose to focus on the imperfections of life, or I can turn my eyes on the One who is Perfect. Lord, please help me to stop focusing on all that I wish were different, and instead be thankful for the many blessings in my life. I will close this post with a song fro…

Five Minute Friday Last

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My daughter is in her last year of elementary school. This school year is going by so quickly already. I can hardly believe it is already November. In September, I remember listening to the coverage of the 9/11 anniversary. The messages that people left their loved ones shortly before they died always make me feel pensive. What if I lived like any moment could be my last? How would I treat my loved ones? Would I be more loving? Would I live differently? I will close this post with a Tim McGraw song.

Day 31 Enjoy honesty with God and others

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As I wrap up this 31 days series, I want to discuss one of the benefits of living honestly with God and others. There is freedom in honesty. You are free to be yourself, without worrying about wearing a mask or hiding anything. In this freedom, there is gratitude and joy. When one's story is out in the open, then you don't have to worry about any questions anyone may have. You don't have to have a cover story. I want to live out my life's story openly and honestly. After all, it is not just my story, it is God's story. My children and I faced some hard times in the first eight years of my eldest daughter's life. I don't want to dwell on the past. I want to step boldly into the future with my children knowing that God is with us each step of the way no matter what the future holds."I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand!"



Day 30 Being Honest When Painful Memories Come to Mind

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On this journey to healing, I have found that one of the hardest things to be honest about is what is going on in my head and my heart. For instance, I have mentioned earlier in this series that February 11th will probably never be a fun day for me. To my parents and other loved ones it just another day. I need to tell my parents that today is February 11th, and explain that I am having a rough day. Song lyrics can also trigger me. There are several popular songs that describe domestic violence, which overall it is good that the topic is being addressed. These songs still describe fictional scenes that touch much to close to home for comfort. It is okay to switch the radio station if the song is triggering a painful memory. When I was living in the abusive marriage, I could not watch crime shows that dealt with domestic violence. It would elicit a fear response in me.  It is okay to change the channel or turn off the TV. The most important step in dealing with painful memori…

Day 29 Practice makes perfect

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It takes practice to be honest in relationships. I need to practice to stop saying that I am fine, and start giving real answers when I am asked how I am doing. It takes practice to speak up for myself and express my needs, especially when I am not used to doing so. I need to practice self-care. I used to believe that I could take care of myself when all of my other tasks were done. A mother's job is never done. So, if I wait until I am done with all of my tasks I will not take care of myself. I want to set a better example for my children. It takes practice training my children to do things for themselves, so that they do not think that their mother is their maid. I need to allow my children opportunities to practice interacting with each other and others. They need this practice to learn how to lovingly interact with others so they know how to stand up for themselves without becoming a bully. These are all things that take practice.


Day 28 Days that my patience is tested

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Some days just feel crazy from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed at night. I guess that is just part of the life of a single mom. I never feel like there are enough hours in a day. Usually the moment I sit down one of my kids yell, "Mom!" Actually I know that these are the moments that I will miss someday, but right now these moments test my patience. I often find my patience is lacking in these circumstances. I am not as loving, understanding and joyful as I wish I would be. I was reminded recently that on the hard days it is especially important to take a time out and ask God to help me. Many days I need a change in perspective. Sometimes that perspective change comes in experiencing a change in scenery . "Hey kids lets go to the park!" Many times I need to remind myself of the many things for which I am thankful. What do you do to snap out of a bad mood when your patience is being tested?


Day 27 Am I getting better at choosing honesty?

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Honesty is a choice. It is a choice to be open and vulnerable. It seems easier to hide, and pretend everything is okay. I want to be better at choosing honesty. I never know what impact that honestly sharing my story with others will have on those around me. I not only want to chose honesty, I also want to provide a safe place for others to choose honesty. I want to be an encourager. I want those who interact with me daily to know that they can trust me with their truths and that they can be authentic with me. May I keep this in mind as I am talking with others daily.