Day 6 Beliefs

           My beliefs about marriage, about who I am as a person and God's call on my life have changed substantially in the past five years. Five years ago, on the eve of my wedding anniversary, I was grieving. Actually, I was running from grief. I was listening to family who told me that I should be thankful that I made it out of a toxic and dangerous situation alive. I was told that many people did not have the help and support of family like I do. This was also true, but not necessarily helpful. I was told to take off my wedding ring, consider myself single, dust myself off, and start trying to talk up the changes with my children like starting over was a new adventure. I tried, but certain situations will always sting. My youngest hates that she gets flyers for father/daughter dances when her dad lives across the country. Seeing her sadness the weekend before Valentines Day every year makes me want to break down and cry right along with her. Instead, I tell each of the kids that they can pick whatever they want for dinner. One choses fish, the other chooses tacos, and my third chooses pizzas. I declare that we are going to celebrate Valentines Day starting today and lasting for the next four days. We are going to have a laid back grace-filled weekend, participating in whatever activities the children want to do, and spending a good deal of quality time together. My beliefs about grief have changed. You can't run from it. I tell my children that it is normal to be sad. I ask them if anything would comfort them in their sadness, and then we will spend the weekend doing those things together..