Tales of a Thankful Mom

         I was reminded of a sweet memory today on Facebook. Eleven years ago today, I announced on social media that I was expecting my first child, my Princess. I wrote today in a Facebook post that this news eleven years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love being a mom not only to my eldest but also to each member of my trio of children. They bring me so much joy every day. They have also prompted me to make choices that I may not have been brave enough to make if I was only thinking about myself. I have had to chose to be brave because they are counting on me. My Princess loves hearing about the day she was born, and that she was well worth the wait of 18 hours of labor. I have included a baby picture of my Princess below. Is there a story of birth or renewal that you would like to share today?

" But life hit me hard, more than I planned And it knocked me down, like an avalanche On the edge of hopeless, I called You from the darkness" -Dan Bremnes            About three years ago my family vacationed on the California coast, One day we were at the beach wading into the beautiful aquamarine waves. As I was playing in the water with my eldest daughter a wave knocked us both off our feet. My daughter quickly got up and made her way back to shore. I struggled to get up and as I tried to get up, another wave knocked me down. As I told my Dad later, only I could almost drown in the two feet of water. Seasons of darkness can feel like that. When you think that you are getting your bearings, another wave of sorrow and fear can hit you. I told a friend when I was going through a hard season, that maybe if I didn't move and just was perfectly still, I would not feel any more anxiety or grief, and nothing else bad would happen. Allowing myself to be emotio...

          I took this picture of my youngest daughter a few weeks ago. I noticed that the shirt that she was wearing was getting a little small. I wanted to capture this moment in time so that I would always remember the gift of this shirt. My daughter was given this shirt by a dear friend the day that I left my abusive marriage. My friend served my children breakfast, washed and styled both of my daughter's hair, and encouraged my son to play with her sons. She did all this, while her mother helped me obtain a restraining order. It was such a gift to come back to my friends house and see my happy children describing the fun they had with their friends. This is the reason that this shirt has a great deal of sentimental value to me. Every time that my daughter wore this shirt in the twenty two months that has passed since that day, I would remember my friends and the way that they were the hands and feet of Christ to me and my children that day. I hope that I hav...

" It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone." -C. S. Lewis           This is my favorite quote by C. S. Lewis. I was reading Mere Christianity about a year ago, and these words leaped off the page and made an imprint on my mind and heart.  As some of you may know, I am a single mom. My children's father has parenting time during school vacations. On these vacations he takes them to theme parks, lets them stay up as late as they want and basically is a very fun Dad. I sometimes wish that I could be the fun "theme park parent." I am the parent that needs to enforce bed times, helps them with homework and reminds them to be kind to each other. I can't afford to take them to a theme park. C. S. Lewis' words remind me that when I am comparing myself to my ex-husband, I have lost focus on what really is important. Co-parenting is not a competition. My pride is not h...

          I sometimes feel guilty for the way that my decisions impact others. I play the "what if" game and wish that I could make life better or easier for my family, specifically my children or my parents. My choices have cost both my parents and my children. My parents gave up their empty nester life to provide a home for my children and me. My children had to move from the only home that they ever knew to a different state in part because of choices I made. I realize that I was not the only one involved in the decision that created this situation. It still makes me feel hesitant to make decisions at times. I do not want to cause anyone I love anymore pain.Avoiding decisions is not the answer. I have learned that I can not live my life in limbo. I need to count the cost of my decisions especially the important ones, but then, I need to pray and then do the next right thing in love.

          I am not very comfortable with unknowns. I like to have a plan. I don't like winging it. I crave predictably. I love it when all the pieces of my life fit together as I believe they should. Whether or not I like the unknowns in life, there is a purpose in the unknowns. The unknowns teach me to trust God. They teach me to surrender my plans to my All-knowing Father. May I put my trust in God, no matter what unknowns I am facing.

          I have felt unsettled in some shape or form for a long time. I did not feel at home in my home when I was married because the situation was toxic. I was always waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. Then, I would have to deal with the fallout and clean up the mess. And even though I have been a single mom for almost two years, I still deal with feelings of being unsettled. These feelings probably come from merging my household with my parents. Six people in one house can feel a little crowded at times. Also, a part of me still wishes that my story was different. I am learning though that I do have a choice on how settled I feel. I can chose to focus on my circumstances, or I can chose to focus on God. I can chose to focus on the imperfections of life, or I can turn my eyes on the One who is Perfect. Lord, please help me to stop focusing on all that I wish were different, and instead be thankful for the many blessings in my l...