Tales of a Thankful Mom

          As I wrap up this 31 days series, I want to discuss one of the benefits of living honestly with God and others. There is freedom in honesty. You are free to be yourself, without worrying about wearing a mask or hiding anything. In this freedom, there is gratitude and joy. When one's story is out in the open, then you don't have to worry about any questions anyone may have. You don't have to have a cover story. I want to live out my life's story openly and honestly. After all, it is not just my story, it is God's story. My children and I faced some hard times in the first eight years of my eldest daughter's life. I don't want to dwell on the past. I want to step boldly into the future with my children knowing that God is with us each step of the way no matter what the future holds."I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand!"

          On this journey to healing, I have found that one of the hardest things to be honest about is what is going on in my head and my heart. For instance, I have mentioned earlier in this series that February 11th will probably never be a fun day for me. To my parents and other loved ones it just another day. I need to tell my parents that today is February 11th, and explain that I am having a rough day. Song lyrics can also trigger me. There are several popular songs that describe domestic violence, which overall it is good that the topic is being addressed. These songs still describe fictional scenes that touch much to close to home for comfort. It is okay to switch the radio station if the song is triggering a painful memory. When I was living in the abusive marriage, I could not watch crime shows that dealt with domestic violence. It would elicit a fear response in me.  It is okay to change the channel or turn off the TV. The most important step in...

         It takes practice to be honest in relationships. I need to practice to stop saying that I am fine, and start giving real answers when I am asked how I am doing. It takes practice to speak up for myself and express my needs, especially when I am not used to doing so. I need to practice self-care. I used to believe that I could take care of myself when all of my other tasks were done. A mother's job is never done. So, if I wait until I am done with all of my tasks I will not take care of myself. I want to set a better example for my children. It takes practice training my children to do things for themselves, so that they do not think that their mother is their maid. I need to allow my children opportunities to practice interacting with each other and others. They need this practice to learn how to lovingly interact with others so they know how to stand up for themselves without becoming a bully. These are all things that take practice.

         Some days just feel crazy from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed at night. I guess that is just part of the life of a single mom. I never feel like there are enough hours in a day. Usually the moment I sit down one of my kids yell, "Mom!" Actually I know that these are the moments that I will miss someday, but right now these moments test my patience. I often find my patience is lacking in these circumstances. I am not as loving, understanding and joyful as I wish I would be. I was reminded recently that on the hard days it is especially important to take a time out and ask God to help me. Many days I need a change in perspective. Sometimes that perspective change comes in experiencing a change in scenery . "Hey kids lets go to the park!" Many times I need to remind myself of the many things for which I am thankful. What do you do to snap out of a bad mood when your patience is being tested?

          Honesty is a choice. It is a choice to be open and vulnerable. It seems easier to hide, and pretend everything is okay. I want to be better at choosing honesty. I never know what impact that honestly sharing my story with others will have on those around me. I not only want to chose honesty, I also want to provide a safe place for others to choose honesty. I want to be an encourager. I want those who interact with me daily to know that they can trust me with their truths and that they can be authentic with me. May I keep this in mind as I am talking with others daily.

          One reason that being honest about my needs was difficult is because it is hard for me to admit that I need help. I like pretending that I have it all together even when I do not. It is also hard to accept help, especially if I am in no position to return the favor. I have been blessed with friends who have helped me in really dark seasons. My youngest daughter wore a shirt the other day that had been given to her by one of my friends a couple of years ago. My friend gave this shirt to my daughter on the day that I left my abusive marriage. This friend cared for my children while another friend was helping me pack my and my children's things, and while I was obtaining a protective order. As I was taking these steps, my friend was fixing my children breakfast, and washing and styling my children's hair. The shirt that was given to my youngest was a part of this makeover that she gave my girls, trying to not only entertain my children but put them at eas...

          When I am in a season of waiting, I tend to worry about all the details that are out of my control. I travel down the road of "what if's" instead of finding a better use of my time. I am reminded of a quote by Erma Bombeck,  “ Worry is like a rocking chair : it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”   I also sometimes try to stay busy instead of dealing with fear or grief. I tell myself that I do not have time to process these emotions. When in reality, I do not want to take the time to get alone with my Heavenly Father and pour my heart out to Him. I love King David's example in the Psalms. He told God exactly how he felt about a situation, and then he allowed God to change his perspective. I want to give my cares to God and worship while I wait.