What I learned this Winter (December 2022- March 2023)

           I have been thinking that I have not yet looked back at the previous season, and thought about what I have learned this past winter season. I really enjoy looking back over these posts to see how life changes as my children grow older and the seasons change. I find it really helpful to reflect on the recent past, and make plans for the future. 

I tightened my circle.

          As a recovering people pleaser, I still struggle with rejection and the fear of disappointing others. This winter, I have had to face this fear. Individuals that I am close to have made judgments about me that are not fair or factual. This has caused me to have to be more watchful about what I say to these people and others who are associated with them. As an extroverted person, I have a tendency to say what I am thinking, but I am learning that I may need to be more choosy of who I share my thoughts with, especially if individuals are going to take my words and use them against me later. 

My desire to people please does occasionally rear it's ugly head.

          I thought that I had been walking in freedom over people pleasing until the situation that I described above occurred. Knowing this person that I love was angry with me over something that I believe did not involve them, and that they did not ask my perspective about, really broke me. I was surprised by how much this situation grieved me. I realized that I need to live for an audience of One, and seek Him for wisdom as I make choices. The opinions of others can be fickle. Am I living a life walking with the Lord and seeking Him?Or am I seeking a “pat on the back” from those around me.

Whenever my kids want to hang out with me, I need to drop what I am doing and take them up on the offer.

           I have a teen and a tween who both enjoy the solitude of their bedrooms. This has given me a little peak at the future with my youngest, and I have determined that as long as she likes hanging out with her Mom, any time she has a inexpensive request than we will make a plan for whatever fun she is proposing. We will even ask her siblings if they want to join in the fun too.  

Family movie nights are a lot of fun.

Speaking of which, when I saw that the newest Puss in Boots movie was on streaming services. I asked my kids if they wanted to cap off Spring Break with a popcorn and movie night. I really enjoyed watching Puss and Boots with them!

I love watching my children play together.

         I love the sound of their laughter, and watching them play video games or watch YouTube together. My eldest two sometimes encourage their younger sibling to take a walk with them. 

I need to give I am giving my children opportunities to rest and recharge independently also.

         My youngest and oldest are both introverts. They both enjoy doing activities by themselves sometimes. I can’t expect that my children spend all of their waking minutes together, and expecting them to happily spend the whole Spring Break together with no conflict was not a realistic expectation on my part.           

I need to make sure that I have my children's permission before "name-dropping" them.

              This has to do with my tightening my circle point above. If I value my children’s feelings. I need to ask them before I tell others stories about them. They are getting to the age where they can decide what stories are shared about them. In fact, they may enjoy sharing their perspective themselves with the person who is asking about them.

Parenting more gently and positively is possible, and no, I am not perfect at it.

         I have been making some necessary changes in my parenting this Spring. I want to yell and lecture less and laugh more. I want to really listen to my children l. I would love to say I never yell, but since I know that I am not perfect, my goal is to yell much less frequently than I used to. I am laying down shame based tactics and offering grace to myself and my children. I want my home to be a loving, joyful, peaceful and safe for my children and me. I have enjoyed books on this topic, such as “Only Love Today” by Rachel Macy Stafford and “Love Centered Parenting” by Crystal Paine. How do you focus on love in your home?

I have the best coworkers!

       The school that I substitute teach at has a family atmosphere. Most of the staff look out for and support each other. I love my job as a substitute teacher. I really enjoy working with and learning from all the amazing teachers at my school. The opportunity to give my younger two children a hug or a high five when I pass them in the hall is a bonus.

What lessons did you learn this Winter?