Tales of a Thankful Mom

           The word Yours was my #OneWord365 for 2017. I needed this word during that season of my life, as it was my last full year living in an abusive situation. Reminding myself that I and my children belonged to God gave me the courage to leave my toxic marriage and make a fresh start and a cross country move to be close to family in my home state. The truth that I belong to God, that my children and extended family belong to God has comforted me a great deal the past three years. I am so thankful that I can rest in the assurance that I am God's child.

           One of the unexpected blessings of this season is that I have been able to watch church services from the churches that I used to attend when I lived in New Mexico. Thanks to technology and a welcoming pastor friend, I am now in a zoom community group that is an outreach of one of these churches. We are meeting online right now, but I and others who live in other states will be able to continue meeting with our group even when the group begins in person meetings. I am so thankful for the community that I have found in the body of Christ even in the midst of social distancing. I am thankful for the tools zoom, YouTube, and the Internet that help connect brothers and sisters in Christ. even when we live many miles away from each other. 

 Romans 11:29 For the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable.           The above verse is one that I needed to preach to myself daily. I received some news last month that I should have expected, but even though I knew it was coming it really upset me. In moments like these, it is very easy for me to focus on my flaws and failures or my circumstances. I need to turn my eyes on Jesus and focus on my Savior and his great love for me. My eldest daughter reminded me the other day that our significance comes from God. Each of us is a dearly loved child of God. There is only one relationship on which I should base my identity- my relationship with Jesus. Other relationships change and some are broken. God does not change. His compassion is new every morning. When I am feeling rejected or alone, I need to remember God's promises that I am loved and that He will never leave me.

   My first thoughts on the word could is that my Dad read me, "The Little Engine that Could" as a child. It is funny the things that pop up in my mind as I think about the word could. I also think of all the times that I forget what I was doing because one of my children ask me something. I am reminded of the quote, "She thought she could and almost did, but then, someone asked for a snack and she forgot what she was doing." My youngest once she decides that she is hungry will follow me around repeatedly telling me she is hungry while I fix her and her siblings a meal. I admit that I don't ways handle interruptions well, but I want to handle them with more grace. I am learning to stop focusing on all the things I could be doing or should be doing and instead focus on my children. I want to appreciate the little ordinary moments with my kids. These are the moments I will look back on one day. 

          I have been thinking a great deal about respect this week. My children have just returned from a five week vacation with their father. We had a bumpy start getting back into our new routine. I want my children to respect me and my parents, their grandparents because we also live them, I also need to remember that I need to show them respect and lead by example. If I want to teach them kindness, I need to model kindness. If I want to teach them dignity than I need to behave in a dignified manner. I want strength and dignity to be my clothing as referenced in Proverbs 31. If I want God to be their refuge and peace, I need to live my life taking refuge in God. It is not a formula, just because I live this way does not mean that my children will pick up these traits, but I do want to live them out because more is caught than taught. Do you have any tips on living a life of respect? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.  

    In honor of the Five Minute Friday prompt being the word young, I looked at pictures of my children when they were babies and toddlers. I remember those days when my children toddled across the floor in pursuit of their kitty cat squealing with delight. The cat wasn't delighted she was running as fast she could to find a place to hide from the children. I remember watching my children take their first bites of ice cream. I remember seeing their delight at seeing hot air balloons. These memories of my children while they are young I will treasure and share with them as they continue to grow older.       

         My children's smiles make me so happy. Whether their smiles are goofy, shy, excited or sly I love watching my children's faces light up with a smile. I recently began a new practice writing down the things that cause my children to smile. I want to be a noticer. I want to notice what make my children smile. Knowing what makes my kids smile helps me to know how to show each of them love on days when they need a little TLC. Whether that be fireworks or flowers or butterflies, I love noting what makes my children smile.